Self-Control and Failure

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Control is a word we see often. Self-control especially. We talk about control like it is some sort of achievement. Like being able to address your weaknesses and self-control them, is the epitome of success. 



Did you know that I think control has nothing to do with sacrifice? 



I don’t believe that you choosing the fries instead of the veggies at dinner means you don’t have self control. I simply don’t. I believe it means you made a choice to eat fries. 



The things I believe you should strive to have control over aren’t the little choices throughout the day. The choice I believe we should focus our attention on is the one to try again.



If you measure your success or failure in something down to the tiniest decisions you are going to ‘fail’ a LOT more than you actually are. 



For example, if you look at a day through the lense of pass/fail it would look a lot like a bunch of failures. For instance,

  1. I didn’t get my workout in before work. (I failed)

  2. I was running late and I decided to eat the catered breakfast at work and i had to estimate my logging and I am not confident it was right. (I failed)

  3. My protein shake was expired and I was hungry, so I just ate a bag of chips instead. ( I failed)

  4. My meeting ran long and I was late to pick up my daughter, so I didn’t get to make it to my exercise class. ( I failed)

  5. I got home and didn’t have the ingredients I thought I did, and the baby was fussy, so i ordered pizza. I had a slice for dinner and my macros are unsaveable (i failed)

  6. I ended the day at my max calorie target and my macros were way off, I didn’t work out, and i fed my family pizza. (I failed)



This day is heavy. Its riddled with guilt and shame. It feels like quitting. It feels like a burden to try to lose weight. It feels overwhelming.



Let’s look at the exact same day, with a different mindset and framework for what failing really looks like:



  1. I didn’t get my workout in before work. (Thats okay, I will go to my exercise class after my meeting!)

  2. I was running late and I decided to eat the catered breakfast at work and i had to estimate my logging and I am not confident it was right. (I tried my best, I asked for help from the coaches, and I know that even if it wasn’t perfectly accurate, it was as close as I felt I could get)

  3. My protein shake was expired and I was hungry, so I just ate a bag of chips instead. (Its been a tough day, and if a bag of chips helps make it a little less stressful, that is okay)

  4. My meeting ran long and I was late to pick up my daughter, so I didnt get to make it to my exercise class. (Exercise isnt going to happen today, and thats okay. I have a priority to take care of my daughter and my job, and today those were more important than my exercise. I am doing my best.)

  5. I got home and didnt have the ingredients I thought I did, and the baby was fussy, so i ordered pizza. I had a slice for dinner and my macros are unsaveable. (Right now my priority is simplicity, and I am happy with that choice.)

  6. I ended the day at my max calorie target and my macros were way off, I didnt work out, and i fed my family pizza. (I worked, parented, fed my family, stayed under my calories and everyone is bathed and sleeping in their safe home. I did really good today.)



Does that day feel less overwhelming? Does the perspective of failure seem to hold less weight? 



Your job in weight loss is NOT to be perfect. It is not to check off boxes of ‘good’ things and see linear progress. That is NOT what macroholics is designed to be. Macroholics is supposed to be a place where you share the struggle, where you find empathy, and encouragement when you AREN’T perfect. 



If everybody could do it on their own, we wouldn’t exist. If everybody was perfect, there would be no need for support, for communication, for accountability. 



Please do not ever be ashamed of your ‘failures’, please see yourself through the lense we see you in a way that is full of grace and patience and positivity. 



We want you to know that success is not perfection, and that your journey to success is not supposed to be easy, or simple. It is a journey because there are highs and lows, and good days and bad days, and we want to walk with you through every single one of them.



So if you are currently a client, I hope you are hearing what level of love and grace we have for you and I hope you will let us help remind you of the wins in the days you feel like you failed.



And if you are a past client, I hope you know that there is no shame in coming back. There is no judgement or condescension. If you gained weight, if you lost weight, if you have never made progress, if you lost a lot of weight last time, whatever your circumstances are, we will always welcome you back with the smile and love you deserve! 



If you’ve never been on Macroholics, I beg you to give it a shot. This community is so much more than weight loss. It is so much more than bikini goals. It’s about mindset, about sharing the struggle, about learning that you are more than the relationship with food you currently have. 



If you ever want to talk, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I would love to help you frame your mindset around good things and not failure, client or not!



Hallye Barnett